I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
