I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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