the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
