She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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