Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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