I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
