hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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