One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
COCAINE IS GR8
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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