best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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