but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
