If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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