So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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