my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
