Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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