Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
