You smell like stripper and shame
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.