When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.