Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify