Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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