sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My underwear smells like fireworks.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night