Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

ill bring the camera dont start without me

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(404): View more from Georgia

to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy

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(847): View more from Illinois

just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
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(417): View more from Missouri

Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.

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(435): View more from Utah

honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I hugged the bouncer as we left.

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(858): View more from California

I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.

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(818): View more from California

I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.

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