24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.