: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed