just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
