And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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