last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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