i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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