dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
