Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
