well you can't waste a boner
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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