If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize