Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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