me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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