that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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