Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
