Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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