ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
