Fuck appropriateness.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
