Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
