how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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