did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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