should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
