She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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