a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
