Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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