Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize