I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
