porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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