Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
