Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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