No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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