My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
