It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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