Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
