i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
