She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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