No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
