I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize