Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
