This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
