I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
