I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
