She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm at about main and main street
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
