you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
