there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
