I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize